Caring for Someone with Chronic Pain and Helping Yourself
You may think it strange that I have created a page for carers AND for helping yourself, there is method in my madness, my main aim is to help those of you who live with someone with chronic pain, the helping yourself section is aimed at the sufferer, but, it can help you carers, if you see your partner/friend beginning to suffer more you can instigate the helping yourself methods by suggesting one or more of them, which may in turn stop the pain flare up.
A Carers Story
Living with someone who suffers from chronic pain is extremely difficult, there are times for sufferers, when the pain is so bad, that even the simplest things are impossible, something as simple as trying to make yourself understood, the pain is all consuming and a sufferer will believe that they are making themselves clear, when they are not. Below is a true story that I hope will make things a little easier for those of you living with someone with chronic pain.
The Original Charles and Diana, an Inspirational Couple
I have just witnessed the most wonderful man, a man I don’t know well, in fact I don’t know him at all, I lay in my hospital bed following my neuro stimulator operation and witnessed a carer in action, I did not know what condition the lady suffered from but what I did see was me in pain, when I say me, I mean I saw how someone in chronic pain is, we need something sorting, probably something quite simple, but because of pain we can’t rationally get it across to our carers, who are usually our partners, and we get more and more frustrated which usually manifests itself by us being agitated, grumpy, angry and impatient, here is the story how this gentleman deals with it, I hope it will help some of you who live with someone in chronic pain.
Diana, his wife, was trying to explain to him that she wanted a different bag bringing to the hospital, he thought she was talking about the item in the bag, which was a cardigan. Charles was extremely patient; at first trying to calm his wife by saying ‘don’t get agitated, calm down’ this was his attempt to prevent the inevitable, a grumpy, agitated outburst. Diana felt she was being perfectly clear about what she wanted, the more Charles, her husband, thought she was talking about the cardigan and not the bag the more agitated Diana became, so over and over again she explained what she wanted, pointing at the bag saying that she didn’t want the tatty disgusting thing, she wanted the other one, she explained it in exactly the same words, she felt she was being perfectly clear and couldn't think of any other way to explain what she wanted, she didn’t think she needed to.
Charles was trying to work out exactly what his wife wanted, but you could see his patience wearing thin, after about 5 mins, which must have felt like an eternity, Charles finally snapped, not angrily, which surprised me, but firmly, he simply said, 'I don’t know what you’re talking about’, the more she continued the more he stood firm, then explained to her they were not getting anywhere while she was agitated, he then picked up a paper and began to read, he didn’t walk away or storm off, he simply refused to join in anymore, he told me he made this decision as they were getting nowhere and there was no hope of getting anywhere, so this was the time to stop, he realised that his attempts to help were making the situation worse. Diana carried on for a short while, Charles calmly sat and read the paper until his wife stopped, he sat quietly for a few more minutes, then calmly asked his wife what it was she wanted, as Diana was now calmer she could think more clearly and told him that she didn’t want the tatty disgusting bag, she wanted the other one - result. What Charles did next was to lighten the mood, not harp on the fact she had shouted, not take it personally, but move on from it, it had happened, but he understood it wasn’t her fault, her body made her behave like she did, she was out of control of it, and it was as, if not more frustrating for her as it was for him. He simply laughed at the situation saying, ‘right, now we’ve got that sorted, at last, shall we move on, let’s see what’s in the paper’ he then simply began discussing the days news with her like the incident had never happened.
Watching the couple from across the ward, I was moved to tears, I knew this is what I need when I have pain episodes, someone who doesn’t try to give me answers, tell me I’m wrong or shout at me, someone who cares enough to understand, be patient but also to realise that enough is enough because I am doing myself more harm than good, someone who will wait patiently till I calm down then resolve the problem then carry on, laugh about it, not take it personally then get on with having fun together, whatever that may be, even something as simple as talking about the days news. Charles is a truly remarkable man and together he and Diana are a wonderful couple, an inspiration.
So, the moral of this story is that kindness and patience pays off. Sufferers usually do not mean things they say or do, it’s pure frustration that we can do nothing to control our bodies. When the pain eases and we realise what happened, sufferers can feel bad, that’s why it’s important that carers do not harp on the things that have been said and done and laughing with us actually helps, it helps us move on and put the pain behind us.
Helping Yourself
When we think about pain management we think about medication and surgical procedures, but there are other ways to manage your pain, some I have tried and some I am still exploring, but the key to managing your pain is to try to help yourself, you can compliment the drugs and surgical procedures with many things, and you never know, you may find something that helps, I find using other things to manage my pain most useful in periods of flare ups of pain, at times when you need that little something extra to help you through ‘the bad times’.
Distraction Techniques – this involves doing something that will occupy you mind, move your concentration from the pain, doing something enjoyable, this can be anything, working on your computer, doing a puzzle, immersing yourself in a film, playing with the dog etc. this will bring your stress levels down, and as we all know, stress equals pain.
Set Realistic Goals - If you have things to do, but you are in pain, only do the things you are able to, don’t push yourself to do to much, concentrate on what you have achieved and not what you have not achieved.
Massage – This doesn’t have to be a professional massage, get a partner or a friend to do it, it will relax you and bring your stress levels down.
Relaxation – This can take many forms, yoga, meditation, tie chi etc.
"Be safe in the knowledge that a good day will follow a bad day."
One thing that is important is, if you feel your pain increasing, don’t wait for a flare up before you try to help yourself, try something immediately, it may prevent your pain increasing to the level of a full blown episode. Remember, we want to ‘LIVE’ with our pain, so if we can prevent it getting too bad we will still be able to do things, still live a life.
Once again, if any of you have any other things that help you get through the pain please E Mail me for your techniques to possibly be included on my site.
The Importance of Food and Your Diet
Food as a Pain Trigger
Research has shown there are some foods that are almost never implicated in pain by anyone. These so-called 'pain-safe' foods include brown rice, cooked or dried fruits such as cherries, cranberries, pears and prunes, and cooked vegetables such as artichokes, asparagus, broccoli, chard, collards, lettuce, spinach, beans, squash and sweet potatoes.
There are also foods that are known to trigger pain, food such as dairy products, meat, alcohol and coffee.
Some foods will be stronger pain triggers than others and it will vary from person to person which foods will trigger pain. To try to find out what foods trigger your pain you can try a pain trigger diet.
Pain diets include a comprehensive list of foods that it is recommended you avoid. Studies indicate that allergies to certain foods may trigger pain. By eliminating these foods by following a pain diet you may be able to get pain relief.
While the list is long and you may feel that life will be boring if you are restricted from eating these foods you have to look at how much better life will be if you get pain relief.
You may find that you do not need to eliminate all foods on the list and your pain diet only needs certain foods to be restricted.
You can start by eliminating all foods on the list and then re-introduce them one at a time into your pain diet and see the results over 2 to 3 weeks. If you find that your pain increases then there is a good chance that this particular food is a trigger and it would be wise to totally eliminate if from your diet.
You might find that you obtain pain relief by restricting your intake of certain foods but not totally eliminating them. In other words you need to experiment a little with your pain diet to see what works for you.
Foods Best Avoided :
- Red meat (i.e. beef, lamb, pork) - substitute chicken and oily fish.
- Members of the nightshade family such as: tomatoes - white potatoes - eggplants - red peppers - tobacco.
- Wax covered fruit and citrus fruit - these days much of our fruit is wax covered to improve shelf life but organic fruit should not be.
- Dairy products such as cows milk, cheese and yoghurt.
- Sugar and foods containing sugar: chocolate - sweets - soft drinks - syrup - honey - treacle.
- Flour and bran made from white wheat: avoid foods where ingredients include cereal binders, cereal fillers or cereal protein, wheat starch or edible starch.
- Dry roasted nuts - raw nuts like almonds, walnuts and brazil nuts may be beneficial.
- Beverages: alcohol - tea - coffee (including decaffeinated) - cocoa - soft drinks.
- Foods containing caffeine.
- Restrict use of butter and margarine.
- Salt, pepper and vinegar.
Remember to experiment with your pain diet to see what works best for you. You may find that you do not need to eliminate all these foods but only some or you might get pain relief by restricting your intake of some foods.
A good diet does not need to be boring. Use your imagination in preparing foods to get variety in flavours and taste.
Pain-Safe Foods
Pain-safe foods virtually never contribute to arthritis or other painful conditions.
These include:
- Brown rice.
- Cooked or dried fruits: cherries, cranberries, pears, prunes (but not citrus fruits, bananas, peaches or tomatoes).
- Cooked green, yellow, and orange vegetables: artichokes, asparagus, broccoli, chard, collards, lettuce, spinach, string beans, summer or winter squash, sweet potatoes, tapioca, and taro (poi).
- Water: plain water or carbonated forms, such as Perrier, are fine. Other beverages – even herbal teas – can be triggers.
- Condiments: modest amounts of salt, maple syrup, and vanilla extract are usually well-tolerated.
IMPORTANT: Always check with your GP or pain consultant before making changes to your diet to make sure it will not affect you or your medication adversely
Foods That Fight Pain
If you have thought of chronic pain as something that is simply here to stay, new hope may come from ordinary foods. They can cool down inflammation, ease digestive and menstrual pains, clear away artery blockages, and restore circulation to oxygen-starved tissues.
Rice or peppermint oil, for example, can soothe your digestive tract; ginger and the herb feverfew can prevent migraines, and coffee sometimes cures them; natural plant oils can reduce arthritis pain; cranberry juice can fight the pain of bladder infections; and vitamin B-6 can even increase your pain resistance, to name just a few.
Among the most striking links between foods and pain came from studies of back pain. When researchers examined the spines of people with back pain who later died from accidents or other causes, they found that the pain was caused by a degeneration of the leathery disks that act as cushions between the bony vertebrae. When the disk degenerates, its soft interior tissues squeeze out and pinch a nerve.
Surprisingly, the cause may be blocked arteries. The lumbar arteries that carry blood and nutrients to the vertebrae often become clogged with plaque - the same kind of blockage that clogs the arteries to the heart, causing heart attacks.
When lumbar arteries are blocked, the oxygen and nutrients that help the spine recover from daily wear and tear are cut off, and waste products build up, irritating sensitive nerves. Autopsy studies showed that the greater the artery blockage, the worse the degeneration of the disks. One in ten people in Western countries have an advanced blockage in one or more of these arteries by age 20.
This discovery opened up a fascinating possibility: perhaps a change in diet could be used to improve the circulation to the back and prevent or even reverse back pain. By the mid-1990's, Dean Ornish, M.D., of the Preventive Medicine Research Institute had proved beyond any reasonable doubt that a combination of a vegetarian diet, modest exercise, smoking avoidance, and stress management allows the arteries to start to clean themselves out in the vast majority of research subjects.
Whether this can also happen in the arteries to the spine is yet to be shown. If so, the lifestyle changes would be the same as for reversing artery blockages elsewhere in the body.
For headaches, joint pains, or digestive pains, the key is to track down which foods may have caused your pain so you can avoid them, while building your meals from foods that virtually never cause symptoms.
In The Lancet of October 12, 1991, researchers gave the results of a carefully controlled study that used a menu designed to avoid foods that trigger arthritis pain. The culprits were as common as a glass of milk, a tomato, wheat bread, or eggs. Many patients improved dramatically: pain diminished or went away, and joint stiffness was no longer the routine morning misery. The same benefit has been seen for migraines.
Sugar may affect pain, at least in certain circumstances. Researchers at the Veterans Administration Medical Center in Minneapolis tested its effects on a group of young men. They attached a clip to the web of skin between their fingers, and wired it to an electrical stimulator. As they gradually increased the voltage, they asked the men to say when they felt any pain and at what point they found it intolerable. As the researchers then infused a dose of sugar, the volunteers felt the pain sooner and more intensely. The researchers then tested people with diabetes, who tend to have more sugar in their blood than other people, and found that they too were more sensitive to pain.
PCRM’s research team is now studying the use of a very-low-fat, vegetarian diet to treat menstrual pain. Low-fat foods reduce the hormone swings that contribute to pain, and while the study is ongoing, many participants report remarkable results.
| COMMON ARTHRITIS TRIGGERS | |
| Dairy products | Citrus fruits |
| Corn | Potatoes |
| Meat | Tomatoes |
| Wheat, oats, rye | Nuts |
| Eggs | Coffee |
COMMON MIGRAINE TRIGGERS |
|
| Dairy products | Nuts and peanuts |
| Red wine | Tomatoes |
| Chocolate | Onions |
| Eggs | Corn |
| Citrus fruits | Apples |
| Meat | Bananas |
| Wheat (bread, pasta, etc.) | |
PAIN-SAFE FOODS |
|
| Brown rice | |
| Cooked green, yellow, and orange vegetables | |
| Cooked or dried non-citrus fruits | |
By Neal D. Barnard, M.D.
'Foods That Fight Pain' is reproduced with the kind permission of The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine - www.pcrm.org
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Thank you,
Judi.